Play it Hard

World Taxi

2008-01-15T23:12:00.000-08:00

My friend was going to buy karizma(85k on road price ex-delhi showroom) but now he has delayed his plans the reason TATA nano(1,15k on road ex delhi showroom) will be rolling on the streets in September. I pity on him because of the conflicting dreams of two very magnanimous natured persons Shamu and Mr. Ratan Tata; now you will also pity on my friend.

The tata’s much awaited dream has been accomplished by 500 potential engineers team.

But precisely Mr. Ratan Tata wanted (as he says),”I don’t want to see the Indian families risking their lives on a scooter loaded with husband, wife, children and green vegetables on ill trafficked Indian roads”, everybody heard to it and so did my shamu and look how cute and contemplative my shamu is.

The next night, shamu (the auto rikshaw driver) had a dream of buying a NANO and just have a look at how he interpreted the dream of mr. tata.

Shamu dreaming—I will buy a nano than I will not let any of the families in banaras city to drive a scooter and risk their lives on roads and I will offer my new tata nano TAXI and will serve them and this way I and Mr. tata will change the state of the state.

Now, if this will be the future of nano than GOD knows what tata and shamu are over to.

But one thing is for sure that if we declare Tata Nano to be the big size taxi of India and world than there will be lot of good things that shall happen.

of course TATA’s will makes bourses by selling millions of nano’s and the money won’t be nano for sure……….the Americans would say,” what the f**k man $2500 is this free or what”. Just imagine yar the first time you are standing on south hall hempton and calling for taxi…... and nano comes in front of you, how Indian it would feel.
Goose, we will not have to suffer in those omni’s, feat’s, f**kin autos which have hand kicks.

and those stupid environmentalists should know this that it follows EURO-2 norms which I don’t think omni, feat and ofcourse auto doesn’t until you feed them with CNG.

But sorry to Mr. TATA first sumo, then indica, then indigo, and NOW NANO

TATA is for sure the TAXI TYCOON.

Note : shamu is a fiction character so, please don't recognize yourself as him.

Signing off

karun

CRICOPHOBIA......yes i deserve

2008-01-07T00:09:00.000-08:00

This blog is dedicated to all the tata sky viewers(isko laga dala to life jhinga lala!!!!!) watching aus vs india……

From a long time I wanted to hit hard on the spinal cord of cricket viewers who feel pride when watching the game of cricket (I will illustrate you why)…..then go on to increase the spectrum of my hits.

People…no no THE people really boast a lot about our cricket very sorry sacred cricket, religious cricket,

And these pious Indians say that we have our cricket as whites have their football. They can really boast about it but the joints which are widening the cesspool should be taken into immediate consideration and being an engineer I want to bring those into limelight before the ditch opens completely.

So here we go, say there is a IND vs Pak match on MONDAY,10a.m.…….60% of the foolish junta including you and me is being punctual for the nth time(value of n depends on the no. of times matches like this are being shown on television)………have a look at the gravity of the situation……fanaticism is of this order that junta includes the people that should only be concerned about inclusive growth are included, the dalals are bidding with cricket, the youth are playing with future for cricket, many mothers are feeding to cricket rather than children, and gowdiya junta of course is worried about dhoni’s new hair style, and some gavaars praying for sachin’s excellence over zero. And the educated ones are spending Rs3 for airtel live scoreboard…..and the rest of people that includes the radicals, criticals and extremists of faltuism have spreaded their legs on casted couches, no remarks for them because they have no work left on this Small planet India. And the things got deserted till the dawn changed the times(I can very easily make those remarks because I have read the news where people have destroyed their televisions, indulged in quarrels and even trying suicide after watching the clichéd Indian defeat).

But after all the attempt to demean cricket and its viewers and an attempt to elongate the blog I have come to the conclusion part;

In the court of law is cricket facing the truth……….

The prosecution has two major allegations which cannot be challenged by defense.

My lord, the game was played MONDAY....MONDAY my lord monday

and second my lord the game was 10am to 5pm(working hours) conference...(i may never know the reason,why?????)....why my lord why.....

Just jiggle your mind to have a better look on these two objections and you will also know everything about the much hyped version of Indian sports which is trying to achieve much more than it’s major shot i.e. entertainment.

And now switch on the t.v. to watch football or soccer the premier leagues English, Spanish(I don’t know much as I am also Indian ) the maximum no. of matches are played on weekends that too in happy hours or the wee-wee time of nights.

Now I feel good and can act well……..Whola I have won the case…….cheers to me…..but the winning is awaited till we seriously take an action against this because mind it the story is same to the story of allergic person having deodorant and smell at the same time.

In the end one thought is coming to my mind,”life begins to end when you keep quiet on matters that matter”…..actually I don’t remember the exact lines but the sense is same for me.

Cheers

Signing off

karun

pursuit of happiness

2007-10-09T07:18:00.000-07:00

sorry boss but really i can't just discuss th movie it made m cry but what i m up to is i don't know.By reading this post you will feel that i am very confused about my life and that is true because at times i don't know what i want from my life.You can see how confused i am, probably the reason is the very answer to the problem of most human beings that, 'What is happiness'?.
And really from last two years when i feel lonely i always kind of introspect and ask myself that,"am i happy". And the answer that is very imminent is 'NO'.
But what's the reason for this, "don't i know what makes me happy or i don't know how to be happy" both the things are quite possible.I am changing, i used to be an optimist but now i am practical optimist with skeptical positive thinking.Now, i have started believing that to me every joy is appended with sorrow. Some will say that i hanker for more but really, "i have always asked for less than one asks for oneself". And most of the things that use to allure me so much, are now just a matter of instance without a circumstance.
I am a fun loving guy(had to try hard to write 'am'),but the jokes which we used to crack 24*7 are now turning me off, now i can't make people laugh, the pun which i used to have has axed away, now i always look at the darker side of situation, my friends are annoyed from me that why we have to say "kuch to bol" on phone.
Today only when i was thinking that i would be going to home day after tomorrow i wasn't fantasized by the rendezvous but rather i was thinking that what i will do after meeting all the people.Now i feel good when i talk to only few good people left in my life. I have no excitation left for watching cricket, diwali, holi et al. I got my most awaited job and then again i was kind of allegedly happy for one day, i now feel like people should say what i want to listen and if they don't then it's very imminent that i will yell n bark at them ruthlessly. And the biggest problem is that most of the time i feel very lonely and i haven't left out even left out parties(which we have very often) from my deal of loneliness,disgusting.And please i don't want to look into my eyes as a person being belittled,can't i be of some use to anyone.
But i have some optimism still left in my 'black' blood which allows me to think that some people are still there who make me laugh,feel together, and valuable.
Today i can remember that i didn't laughed the whole day. But i am sure that the day was really gloomy for me but tomorrow morning it will be all fine and handsome,.......and i will laugh direct from the heart that too with everybody.
cheers everybody to have lighted myself by writing all this stuff.

kal ho na ho

2007-09-13T07:25:00.000-07:00

Zindagi hai choti, har pal mein khush raho...

Office me khush raho, ghar mein khush raho...

Aaj paneer nahi hai, dal mein hi khush raho...

Aaj gym jane ka samay nahi, do kadam chal ke hi khush raho...

Aaj Dosto ka sath nahi, TV dekh ke hi khush raho...

Ghar ja nahi sakte to phone kar ke hi khush raho...

Aaj koi naraaz hai, uske iss andaz mein bhi khush raho...

Jise dekh nahi sakte uski awaz mein hi khush raho...

Jise paa nahi sakte uski yaad mein hi khush raho

Laptop na mila to kya, Desktop mein hi khush raho...

Bita hua kal ja chuka hai, usse meethi yaadein hi khush raho...

aane wale pal ka pata nahi... sapno mein hi khush raho...

Haste haste ye pal bitaenge, aaj mein hi khush raho

Zindagi hai choti, har pal mein khush raho .......

Nd in fact Kal Ho Na Ho

placements with replacements

2007-08-27T03:16:00.000-07:00

sorry for jeopardizing the trust which many companies have in students of my college.so let's talk something about ridiculously loving thing called campus placements. It's not my disgust being shown off when i say "ridiculously loving thing" but it's the truth and truth is greater than fiction, so you got it, it's not fiction. The topic can be obscure to some but for a guy of my college it's just the replacement in placement called DUMMY and of course increased magnitude could yield to PROXY.So let's start this jaunty which i am sure will be more exciting and thrilling then siachen's and everest's.
In college we call it D-day to some it's doom day,some say it's judgment day but i say it "DOG" day as 'har kutte ka din aata hai'and on this day nobody shows resilience after being called a dog:lucky dog. And when municipality lorry[CTS192(NO.plate)] comes to catch these lucky dogs everybody wants to become that 1st lucky dog to be caught by lorrymen (unusual,on behalf of dogs) of course modus operandi usuually consists of 3-4 rounds.
Now let's get into tangible intricacies till i don't get bored.......
Dawn of the Dead sorry 'DOG' starts with a belief "aaj chak de, kuch kariye....."
and now starts the developments which are the part of process called baptism of Dog into Lucky Dog.First knock on the door of the most witted ,wise friend's door and shout after yelling abuses and then with a tick remembering "abe ye to mera AAJ ka BEST FRIEND hai" then after the first authenticated prima facie(ass-lip lock)-----"bhai tu aage se solve kariyo mein peeche se chalu karunga, now after taking a bath(strange for likes of enggs,dogs) now looking at heaven's and conferring about confirmation of offer letter.Now, heading towards Fcuk-16 and the hotchpotch starts for arranging the damn 4-6 chairs with assured intimacy between them.Mr.D or dummy,oozing smug, not on time, of course, moving like a bandit desparado, loosing breath, sits, shakes and says,"i m dying man it's too hot out here" failing the law of nature Pressure directly proportional to temperature........explanation:Dog feeling 100KPa pressure then also shivering but great Mr.D-0KPa pressure feels hot(disgusting). Now, after the announcement of last instruction:"Please return your answer key before leaving the hall"........hehehe......countdown begins, trusting the wisdom of wise, witty and CYNICAL Mr.D answering begins.Mr.D, the coolest hunk, who is riding the 'chariot of cheat' as a charlatan, of course, pretends to have topped the charts of Forbes 200 list of Cheaters.........and on that day i felt "sala 1 dummy 10 kutton ko pass karva sakta hai".
Now, situation after exam Dog very silent and Mr.D bolstering the authenticity of Forbes saying "sala 15min mein 30 saval batae".
Results are out,you have cleared the written exam and if the conference with GOD in morning was an affirmative one you will be the Lucky Dog.............
In my next blog i am going to tell you about many of my interview experiences and my favorite with me as Mr. D, can you believe it ,not in written exam but in an interview,it's not surreal and if you will ask Mr.AK he will say it's surely real.
With Cheers to Mr. AK for having a much expected job under his belly(big 1).
Signing Off
Karun

that is why i always say "Indians are gr8"

2007-06-27T06:30:00.000-07:00

This blog is solemnly dedicated to my loving countrymen who are immaculate in outperforming those who cannot compete with them. By writing this type of blog i dont want to pose as an perfectly pious,elite gentleman rather i am surely a hypocrite in this context and the context can be thought in the form of thinking:-
Have you ever thought why many indians won't mind giving bribes?
because than, what the statisticians who calculate the piling bribery chronicles will do(unemployed,which we surely don't want).
Have you ever thought why many indians won't think once before taking bribes?
Because than,for what for the 'SANSANI' people will hanker for and why would CCTV cameras be sold (unemloyed,which we surely don't want).
Have you ever thought why many thousands multiplied by thousands of indian youth (romeos & majnus) tease girls and pass comments?
Because they appreciate the beauty + how would the girls know that they are beautiful(reason is noble enough).
Have you ever thought why Indians waste so much of electricity?
Because we want the villagers to enjoy candle light dinners( romantic na) +we also think about the jute and carpet industry 'pankha' making labour(unemployed,which we surely don't want).
Have you ever thought why Indians waste so much of water?
Because than what will the Nagar nigam's water supplying tankers do(unemloyed, which we surely don't want).
Have you ever thought why Indians produce so many children?
Because 1.children are God's gift and we are greedy 2.more no. of working hands 3.it's the matter of retaining the position in the list of 'Most populated countries'.
Have you ever thought why maximum of the Indians don't care about dustbins?
because than what the impeccable blend of indian sweepers do(unemployed,which we surely don't want).
Have you ever thought why many Indian men stand tall like dogs and piss anywhere and feel like tigers?
Because Lions don't give a hoot to the jungle(they roar).
Have you ever thought why many Indians spit anywhere in the periphery of could have been survivable places(now the pauperized poor use them as ass asylums)?
Because than what "CRYING GOD's" tears or rains will do.
I can go on like this & give you 100's of examples of these ironical sarcasms which make indians like me feel uneasy but i believe that you have got the essence of the blog.
Now the main point is that if we have TAJ mahal so beautiful in Agra then why
can't we spread that panaromic seducing beauty and neatness to whole of agra.
Taj is a makbara and our homes are the places where living people live and if we can make a makbara synonym for heaven than why can't our houses, 'the homes'.
Everybody knows that even moon is not spotless. Every nation has it's problems but they are opaque and indian problems are transparent enough.
India is a great land and together we all can make it heaven(of living people) so that next time when bollywood stars think of shooting abroad they should think twice,and the 'Brain Drain class' of India shouldn't make living conditions an excuse for their drainage.
you might find all these things really to small to be given a hoot to like may be an ant but an ant can make an elephant sneeze and ultimately shake the heavenly body.So, please give a mental response to all these things because we only 'THE CITIZENS' together can and will make a difference.
Because, I,karun mittal ,mentally insane, confess all these activities (still bachelor) to have done in my life and will never do that again, this is the only thing that germany has taught me.

jst chill

2007-06-21T02:18:00.000-07:00

depress depression:

ek andhera laakh sitre

ek akela laakh sahare

sabse badi saugaat hai jeevan

nadan hai woh jo jeevan se haare

dukh se agar pehchan na ho toh

kaisa sukh aur kaisi khushiyan

tufaano se ladhkar hi toh lagte hai saahil itne pyare.

This is not my creation this has been told to me by my good friend nupur(you owe her the credit).
signing off
karun mittal

kaala gora ek saman??

2007-06-19T05:20:00.001-07:00

I would like to start this blog on a note whose pitch shall be disturbing , and conflicting to some but i feel that "The truth is greater than fiction " and the story needs to be told;please try to forgive me......
'sometimes destiny teaches you by some of its 'not so divine' inevitable independent incidences'.
Last day,i boarded a streetcar(tram) from Pfälzerstraße and as normal as that i searched for a seat but that f##### afternoon tram was also heavily crowded(maybe like Delhi metro), and normally I abstain from sitting besides men(normal guy) but on that day i had to sit with an old men and
as i was about to sit unfortunately my hand touched to his hand, and than i was taken aback ,surprised,astonished,astounded,amazed,dumbstruck, and even dabbled when he scrutinized his hand as if he inserted it in deep 'shit' and i was like thinking of giving him ELBEjal(because he would have denied to GANGAJAL),and man his expressions were worth recording, and any bit of this sarcasm has no relation with 'cock and bull story'.......
This 'Prejudice based on Race' will be the major ingredient of this cuisine called 'BLOG',so
you can still stop reading it........ok
Few months back,when i was going through an article in TOI i saw the editor questioning AIR-INDIA of not recruiting any "black girl" as an on board air hostess with giving regards to American airlines who have it mandatory to recruit proportionate black:white air hostesses.
Where ever you go in this world ,white is able to accept any white and at the same time firm stalwart to abhor 'non-white'.
Being a boy from native land Punjab ,i will like to take example of Punjabi's,where ever they go they go in groups(of course i am talking about videsh) or they hanker for Indian skin groups.
On my first day in Germany , i went to dine with janik(German) , henry(American) , mark(British) and janik and I made the debut in their company and janik was boring and not even able to speak English properly than also was able to allure the questions of American and British......what does this mean??
This means ,Truth speaks but this time abusive as never before.....
This is not the case with videshis but also with Indian's for example when we see any nigger , development of disgust , hate is very obvious with us because we tend to think ourselves comprised of 'royal blood' as compared to them,and same is the mentality which is echoed from whites.
All the Indians (in my gamut of eye view) wants to marry a bright girl (surely i am talking about colour),i am calling bright because word 'white' would demean Indian Beauty and could do injustice with this blog. But Why??
Why are we fond of watching stars and not the lone black night??
"Black has taken birth to only celebrate Black Days"??
being an optimist i would say 'No' because if GOD has made some people different(these some can be white or black) than there must be something good behind it.
And of course Lord Krishna is 'savaren' at least we can be his scions.
so, I would say ,"hum kaale hain to kya hua dilwale hain".
signing off
karun mittal

its never too late to start

2007-06-12T07:17:00.000-07:00

india vs germany is my first post,i was encouraged by a very good friend and editor rahul priyedarshi who suggested me to pick blogspot as the speaking dias,....
and if you find anything objectionable or banal please abuse rahul.....i am just kidding
please remind me at karun.itbhu@gmail.com.
thanx

india vs germany

2007-06-11T12:55:00.001-07:00

namaste
When i was jotting this topic then only the first thing buzzed on my ears was India is a developing country and Germany is a developed country whereas it’s been 60 years of our independence and 45 years or so when germany got the formal independence from the despot’s tyranny.

Germany is a developed country why??

It imports foods like maizes , cereals that’s really astounding but it exports technology that too mainly mechanical, and Delhi Metro can be a shear synonym for the degree of perfection

Of “german technology” .technology is the only thing because of which they have been able to survive in the race of developed countries. The point is that whatever they do , they are the ace performers of that class. On the contrary “India-a developing country” –this has become a cliché and it has lived in this aweful race for too long now and the time has come when the over flown water is to be drained by turning the tides. India should capitulate upon it’s strengths and show the world that what a Dark Horse with a wild card entry can do,

And then there will be an INDIA SHINING and the chimeras of enlightening Indian society and experiencing the utopia will be realized.

If i will say that India will control the population in 10years and will be anle to become self-sufficient wrt food, healthcare, than i am living in a fool’s paradise. But if we all start thinking like ‘mavericks’ than only solution to this problem is to consider the problem as a solution and that is a total mentality transformation means we should think this gargantuan population as legacy to India and than we can turn the table and bell the cat. I’ll show u how

Can this be accomplished.

Firstly ,we should open institutes of specialized courses like even if a person is not that well educated but he may be eligible to get selected in the cadre of those people who are may be specialised mechanics or electricians and rather than giving them diploma degrees we should give them good practical trainings. And for the upcoming generations we should continue

our sakhsharta missions.

Actually i would like to tell you a bitter fact about germans , 60% of women who passout from universities don ‘t produce child for the sake of their careers and continued enjoyement of life which they believe will be aborted,unfortunately.so, they have a real shortage of brains,

manpower and labour class.

Germany after the berlin wall was brought to real ground in 1989 has lived only 18 years

And they have been able to unite the two parts west germany (developed republican) and

Mentally subjugated part called east germany (developing democratic) in a compehensive manner and after the red letter day was celebrated every german did not knew what’s east

And if there is any west,that has been a remarkable achievement and there is no sign of

Disintegrations and divisions whether we pick sense of developement or the tons of love which they throw upon each other and after sensing all this i can easily say that India

Is the most diverse nations(sarcasm) and my perception is bolstered when there is the reminiscence of train to Pakistan with carnages like godhra and babri which are not healed

completely ,till date. But being an optimist i believe that India will be able to reflect it’s

real diversification which includes variations in cuisine, language , culture , practises

and that constitutes our second strength , and we can sell it because it can be a attraction for

globe as was done by france after world war 2 when they entertained the study of French throughout the world, and the thing which has made US no. 1 destination for the world (home for mcd’s ,baseball ,basketball, Kodak, pizza hut, Hollywood ). And germany , france etc.

are not that beautiful as our country is. It’s not the love for the land that is compelling me to write this but with bird’s eye view one can easily say that “dutch beauty is as fake as dutch courage”. And the problem with country like germany is that when world war 2 ended than the whole of the german infrastructure was buried and to live up the land they had to call for

cheap labour and possible solution was say turkey, italy .and now this answer for the problem has become a burning question in germany because these migrated people for eg turks are growing at an alarming rate(on an average a single turk family has 10 children ) in respect to germans(who don’t like children) and the day will come when germany will not comprise of german blood!!! And this cacaphonic displeasure can be telepathized from every sensible german brain.

The third RAMBAN is Indian service sector which is by far the best in the world and there is no point of comparing it with germans(on an average Indians work for 50 hrs per week as compared to 40 hrs of germans).if we will be able to restict booming service class from going abroad and serving to volkswagon , bmw , Mercedes and ofcourse silicon valley than we can outperform any country. By restricting i mean forcing mnc’s to open their offices in India(liberalisation + they themselves are being enticed by our economy) and giving them their potential salaries .

So, if we realize these three strengths than we can surely ease the Gordon’s knot which stops us from entering to a developed race which we strongly deserve.

Cheers.